When I type “ménage à trois” in the Internet pretty much all the pictures show 1 man & 2 women. Besides the fact that it’s kind of irritating, it’s also not helpful at all because it’s not what I’m looking for!
I am looking for the opposite: 1 woman & 2 men.
Why am I looking for this? Because that’s the way it was in 12th century French literature! Mais oui! It was called l’Amour Courtois or Courtly Love.
Not any woman of course, this luxury was reserved to nobility (hence the court in “courtois” or “courtly”). Standard people were probably too busy trying to survive to have affairs! So, a Lady had 2 men: her Husband of course but also her Knight. Marriages were about money, power, family & political alliances, etc. but certainly not about love. Love had to be found elsewhere and that’s where our Knight comes in.
Mister Knight’s mission in life was to love, worship even, his Lady! He would adore her, fight for her, learn all sorts of fun tricks for her, just to make her happy, for ever, pour toujours.
Pas mal, non? Not bad?
Here is a poem from the Comtesse de Die who lived and wrote in 12th century France. First in French and the English translation follows.
Bel ami, si avenant, si beau,
Quand vous tiendrai-je en mon pouvoir,
Couchée avec vous un soir,
Pour vous donner baiser d’amour.
Sachez que mon grand désir
Est de vous prendre au lieu de mon mari,
Dans la mesure où vous ferez promesse
De tout faire selon ma volonté.
Now in English:
Good friend, so pleasing, so handsome,
When will I hold you in my power,
Sleeping with you at night,
To give you a kiss of love,
Know that my great desire
Is to take you instead of my husband
Is to take you instead of my husband
But only if you will promise
To do everything according to my will.
I used to cringe when I thought of medieval men as I pictured them dumb, rough, and stinky, but I think I might be changing my mind. You?
If you liked this video, stay tuned because next week I’ll share with you a steaming, passionate, legendary French Love Affair that also happened to be highly intellectual… Can you guess who it was? You have one week to figure it out!
And don’t forget to sign up for our next French Salon Event!
Come JOIN US on February 19th to discover How the French Invented Love
I will take you on a virtual trip starting in 12th century France when Romantic Love was invented by the French moving along each century up until today to see how the concept of Love evolved throughout History!
Plus I’ll teach you some fun French romance phrases and we’ll finish with a “Who is your Ideal French Lover” quizz!
Come celebrate la Saint Valentin the French way avec moi!
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